A Piscean's Psychology

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Recon and lost friendships

i dun like recon.period.
i know u're sup to feel free and joy and peace and aiya, everything nice...
but still, i dun like recon...
and for some weird reason, the time period btwn each is getting shorter n shorter....
lets recap, dun worry, its not long

9 years for my 1st recon... duh... 1st communion.
6 yrs for my next.......another duh, confirmation... ha, but i rmb, fr RA getting pissed that alot of us din go for recon regularly, n we cldnt rmb the act of contriction.
DEN 3 yrs (notice multiples of 3) later, recon at j2 retreat(i din go in j1)...
9..6..3.. next?
3 months! hai, at YISS, had to be spiritually healed b4 outpouring. den
2 months! at SOW... and finally
1 1/2 months later, todae, in preparation for good fri.

i still dun like recon. sorry God.. i juz feel awkard.
but yea, it makes me feel better afterwards....kinda... i laugh at the awkardness...seriously

----------------------------------------------------

i miss sch... not the studying... but the noise, the camps, the CCAs...
n of coz the frns lah
in this timeframe, i guess u can sae i've gain frns and lost some... seeing as i blogged b4 abt frns(i vaguely rmb, dunno if its tis blog or my old one), now its the lost ones... i onli rmb 3 at the mo'

one i didnt care frm the very beginning, i knew she was a backstabbing blabbermouth,, i knew wad she said abt me, but its wad she said abt the others that was the last straw... so i dun care abt losing that one, she probably regretted though, ha.

2nd i oso dun really care, but it was irritatin to sae the least that he was my classmate. i dun regret tis one either. if u push my buttons regarding my passion, i def have smth to sae... oh, and i do seriously think he's still a child, no offence gab, but the whole, 'u're not my frn coz u used the f word on me' still bring tears to my eyes.

3rd one i had no idea i lost... but i cant sae im surprised, he told me once b4, he doesnt care for frnships, n he wont do anything to maintain the ones he has now( i noe this sounds familiar to jesse) ... so now, he's erm... unreachable... but i guess its my fault too, din make an effort to stay in touch with him.. which is weird for me coz i like to randomly call ppl and catch up... but not him... i dunno why, and he was like... i dunno, an emo buddy? hai, well... i guess tats so long, gdbye... maybe one day, we will catch up... but i've heard he's changed... so it wouldnt be like b4 either way.

But im glad that one frnship is finally restored.... after...omg...how many yrs... its nice to chat to him now too, haha..

*sighs* everydae(YES, every freaking dae), some random memory comes to my mind, and i laugh/smile/cry abt it... probably why i typed this blog entry.. but hey, i dun tink abt the 1st two ppl at all, but when i was writting abt the 3rd guy, i rmbed the other 2... oh n i rmb the bitches whom i def noe i got blogged abt, those frm sec sch n jc... ah, but they made life interesting i guess, as much as i still dun like their existence, i dun hate them anymore? im indifferent. haha.. no pt wasting my energy on hate, just be indifferent, afterall, tats the real opposite to love.

i rmb they use to sae, ppl come n go, frns stay for life... tats bullshit if u dun maintain it, everything needs 'maintaining', even a marriage...

Im glad for Sam who helps maintain my pri sch relationships, everytime she visits frm aussie, she organises an outing for us. and im glad there's gabby, doing the same for the jc/clique ppl... i try my best for sec sch, n my best is a kinda annual chalet...

A teacher in CJ once told me, it gets harder year by year to maintain frnships u have forged in the diff schs, sometimes u lose them w/o even meaning to, which is so true, agreed? then she said, and some of these frnships doesnt deserve the time to be salvaged.. *sighs* tats sad.. but tats life?

hmmm, live life to the fullest, dun regret the choices u made... haha, easier said than done..

Labels: God, Life

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